Sunday, December 03, 2006

Driving Etiquette

Its the holiday season which means people have to drive their car more often. Which means more times where I get pissed off at other drivers.

There probably is no other instance where I'll most likely physically hurt someone, than driving around in L.A.

There are a lot of things that annoy me on the road. First is me actually being ON the road with other idiots. To me anyone going faster than I am is a moron, and anyone going slower than me is an idiot. Hey, thats just the way it is.

I must admit I do dream a lot while I'm stuck in traffic. I dream about having a flying car. I dream about ...... okay that seems to be the only thing I dream about while stuck in traffic. Oh, I do wish my car had some sort of device that could physically push other cars out of the way while I'm driving. That would be cool!

I hate it when people leave a huge gap between them and the car in front, while in traffic. That f*ker just slows things down more! Whenever I see that I think to myself, "You mean I could've been going 2 miles faster?!! - Bastard!"

I hate it when people go to the front of traffic then cut in on off ramps. Okay, I do the same thing, but I hate it when other people do it to. I know its a double standard, but hey, thats just the way it is.

I also feel we should be able to hit pedestrians in parking lots. Oh, not all of them, but those that don't look to see if a car is coming. You know they're asking for it then. I'm not talking about old folks. They can't help it, and they probably wouldn't survive even the scare. Not kids either because you expect that from them. Besides, they cry. I'm talking about going after the young able bodied idiots.

I'm not saying you should run them over, but maybe just a little tap of about 3 mph, just to remind them that they're idiots. Thats it.

I say these things, but I'll probably never do it. Nor should you. Who knows what kind of damage some fat, slow, unattentive bastard could do to your car.

Sounds like you want the same things I want for christmas: A Jetsons car, the Mach 5 and Magneto powers.
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