Monday, October 02, 2006

The Game

Here's a little guessing game I play every weekday, and not by choice.

I call it getting out of the parking structure game. Or sometimes I call it "C'mon! what the f*&k is taking so long!" hell.

See, I park on the public side of the parking structure. Yes, mistake number one. Its not so bad if you leave around 6 p.m. or earlier because the entry point from that side to the employee side, is still open, so you can exit from the employee side. The problem happens when you stay later, and they chain off that entry point. That forces you to use the public exit.

Here's the thing, there are two exit gates. The trick is to figure out which gate has the fewest number of idiots in its queue and get behind that one. Sometimes more cars on one side, doesn't mean its slower. The key is the number of idiots. All it takes is just one.

There are several types of idiots that make this game "interesting" or f'n frustrating!

There are those that don't know how to stick the ticket in the machine. These people have a slightly higher i.q. than the machine they're sticking the ticket into. Just slightly higher, because at least they try.

There're the ones who hand the attendant the ticket instead of sticking it into the machine. These lazy, victims of multiple internet fraud decide its much faster to just give it to the attendant. But, what does the attendant do ... he or she STICKS THE TICKET INTO THE MACHINE!

A few seconds wasted, but it just seems like it takes forever!

Then there are those that do the above, and when they have to pay, they act a little surprised and fish for their damn money. How f'n hard is it to take out a dollar bill or two, you f'n lead paint junkie! Yes, it make take less than a minute, but there's the trickle down effect. When you're 2 to 3 cars behind this valedictorian, you add a couple of minutes to your wait time!

I especially enjoy the ones that don't think they need to pay and just head for the gate thinking it will go up. Then they have to back their ass up and pay. Usually by then, the car behind them would've occupied their previous spot. There's some inbreeding going on in these people. You're allowed two hours of free parking with a validation. If its 2 hours and 1 minute, then you pay - f'ers!

BTW, honking your horn, never hurries things along, but at least it seems like you're taking action. Seldom does one win in situations like these, because no matter what queue you're in, the other one seems like its going faster. The only way you win is if no one is infront of you. I wonder what thats like .....

If a dog tries to wiz on an electric fence enough times and continues to get shocked, it will eventually find another place to tinkle. Not you though. You just can't get enough of the electric fence. No matter how much it hurts.
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